Fernando Would Hate the Democrat Party

"It's better to look good than to feel good," was the favorite saying of Fernando: the Saturday Night Live character made famous by Billy Crystal.

For the Democrats of today, however, it's all about feel.

"We feel like everyone in America should have a beautiful home; why don't we "strongly encourage" the lenders to make that possible! Poverty discrimination is just like any other form of discrimination."

It's the same thing with minimum wage.

A company pays Tim and Jim $8 an hour each. Minimum wage rises to $10 an hour. The company can't afford $20 an hour so Jim gets the axe. Eventually a lack of manpower causes the company to fold and Tim is also out of a job.

Do Democrats care?

No, they're at home feeling good with pictures dancing in their head of both Tim and Jim going home to tell their families about the huge raise they just received. Then they imagine those evil CEO's pounding their fists in frustration because their ability to exploit the less fortunate has been greatly diminished.

And if you try to inform Democrats of Jim and Tim's termination they will likely put their fingers in their ears and scream at the top of their lungs. They do this because learning of layoffs doesn't feel particularly good – especially when it was their actions which directly caused working class people to lose their jobs.

Matt Damon said the rise of Sarah Palin resembles a bad Disney movie.

What! The entire ideology of the Democrat Party resembles a bad Disney movie!

Bosses are evil! Having the audacity to desire a profit is immoral! If you have employees you are automatically trying to screw them and the only reason they're not chained to their chairs is because you fear incarceration!

To the Democrats, everyone who employs others is Ebenezer Scrooge – only without the inherent ability to reform themselves!

In the mind of a Democrat, this is how a typical business gets started...

Husband: "Let's open a corner bakery."

Wife: "Why, so we can be our own bosses, provide for our families and do something we love?"

Husband: "No, so we can (expletive deleted) over the working class!"

Wife: "That sounds like soooooooo much fun – I'm in!"

Why do Democrats think like that?

Because it feels good.

They hate when people work hard and achieve greatness without help from the government, and therefore it makes them feel good to think of bosses as evil individuals who are only successful because they practice deviant behavior.

Everything liberals believe revolves around feel.

Reality: We don't know that global warming is being caused by man.
Democrat Mindset: Putting my empty water bottle in the blue receptacle as opposed to the trash can makes me feel like I'm saving mankind – just like Superman!

Reality: Those willing to kill women and children are usually somewhat stubborn and therefore difficult to appease. Democrat Mindset: Applying that "Give Peace a Chance" sticker to my bumper felt great! Besides, the shade of taupe they used for the peace sign matches perfectly with the ocean water in the picture of the earth they used for "O's" in my "Make Love, Not War" bumper sticker!

Why don't you Democrats try and improve America by paying attention to that which is real. Sure, reality doesn't always feel great, but isn't that what life is all about!

The Government Isn't to Blame for Everything

Listening to the Democrats speak, I can't help but get the impression they truly believe that the United States Government is responsible for everything that goes wrong in America. Scratch that, I get the impression Democrats truly believe that the United States Government is responsible for everything that goes wrong in the world.

"President Bush made my boss fire me."

"Those damn Republicans made it where the drug company must charge me $30 for the medicine required to control my gout."

"The House of Representatives moved that coffee table on which I stubbed my toe, thus further aggravating my gout!"

Have you ever thought that your boss may have fired you because you were never on time, as well as took the overall attitude that he or she owed you something? Maybe, like all Democrats, you thought of your employer as evil and tried to perform an exorcism on him or her? Or maybe the CEO of your company inexplicably tried to switch from selling windshield wipers to selling exotic Sri Lankan cheeses and the business folded?

Maybe the drug companies charge you $30 because they must receive $30 in exchange for their product in order to turn a profit. I mean, you're not saying that the people at the drug companies should lose money and therefore get sick because they can't afford to purchase their own products, are you?

And perhaps your lack of focus caused you to stub your toe? Maybe you were dreaming about Barack Obama solving all your problems with the stroke of his pen and weren't paying attention to the path in front of you?

The point is that the government cannot be blamed for any of the problems that you Democrats regularly complain about. And I would say the same thing no matter which party was in the White House. The job of the government is to build roads and protect its people - that's it. They're not supposed to hold your hand from the moment you're born until the moment you die. The government is not supposed to make sure you're always gainfully employed. The government is not supposed to make sure you can afford everything your little heart desires, and it's not supposed to make sure you can retire two years after your 20th birthday.

I mean, why do you Democrats ever leave the home of your parents if you want to be taken care of from the cradle to the grave?

And I would like all you Democrats to give me one example of something the government should do to create jobs? Should they invent a bunch of governmental busy work? Force large conglomerates to hire people they don't need?

I can't wait to go to Wal-Mart and hear this, "Hello, my name is Bonnie and I'll be in charge of following you around with a calculator in order to give you an updated total, including tax, of all the items in your cart."

"But I don't need that service."

"You might not have wanted to put your seat belt on during your trip here, either, but it wasn't your decision, was it? In other words, it's mandated by the government."

Call me crazy, but I still have this wacky belief that the private sector should create jobs.

And I love it when Democrats speak about giving citizens everything they want, without the citizens having to lift a finger, and then declare that if you work hard you can accomplish anything.

Translation: "With hard work your wildest dreams can come true, but if you'd rather sit on your butt and do nothing we'll make sure you're taken care of just the same. It's win-win!"

Or I suppose what the Democrats are really saying is that if you worked hard and didn't succeed it's the fault of the government.

Ordinarily Citizen: "I worked like, really hard, you know, and I ain't got me nothin' to show for it."

Barack Obama: "That must mean that the government prevented you from succeeding due to racism, sexism or ageism."

On second thought, the Democrats believe government is the cure for everything.

Now I'm confused.

It's the government's fault you lost your job and can't afford medicine, so the government is going to help you get a job and pay for your medicine.

It's kind of like asking Mike Tyson to help protect you from Mike Tyson.

You Democrats are always talking about the Bible being contradictory; have you looked at your own system of beliefs lately?

"You can do it!"

"Actually it's really hard so we'll have to help you."

"Some of you can do it!"

"But if you do we're going to take all your money and give it to other people."