The Spineless Moderate

With the United States declining in every way, thanks to Barack Obama, moderates are really beginning to get on my nerves, especially ones appearing on Fox News with the initials B.O.

If people are for freedom, for example, they should be for freedom.

If a restaurateur opens an eatery in New York and is legally forbade from serving trans-fat, that's "a good thing," according to many moderates, despite the fact that such law hinders freedom for consumers and proprietors. I believe people should be free to eat wherever and whatever they want. In this fit-conscious society, other restaurants could make a killing serving healthy foods while proudly displaying the trans-fat content of each menu item. Adults would be free to choose for themselves.

The next time a moderate enters the bread aisle of his local supermarket to pick up a loaf of the fluffy white stuff and finds a uniformed government official adding bricks of wholegrain bread to every basket, I wonder if said moderate will change his tune. "No thanks; think I'll stick with the white," the middle-of-the-road shopper might say.

"I don't think you understand," the government official will respond. "A new law states you no longer have the option of white, but please don't sell this wholegrain loaf short. Michelle Obama loves it. Seriously, stand between the First Lady and this healthy loaf of bread and you'll lose some teeth... and perhaps get audited by the IRS."

Were the above scenario to come to fruition, moderates would cry out, "The government has gone too far!"

Such a cry is hypocritical because it's another way of saying, "limiting freedom is okay in certain situations but not in others, and I'm the person to decide what's too far and what's just right." Such a stance is harmful to the country because Barack Obama is now the person deciding what's too far and what's just right. And his 'just right' is left of most Americans.

Freedom is freedom. Government protecting us from ourselves is government protecting us from ourselves. You can be for one, but you cannot be for both.

A, "let's limit certain freedoms to save people from harming their bodies," attitude is not having principles and sticking to them; it's lacking the guts necessary to take a firm stand.

Perhaps this entire article is pointless, because moderates have never been accused of having guts.

The Modern Day Liberal: Evil, Weak, Talentless and Submissive

Evil: There are few actions worse than baselessly labeling someone a racist. Liberals accuse all Obama critics of horrific bigotry. They somehow blame racism on Obama's stubborn unwillingness to release a copy of his birth certificate until he'd been in office over two years. No criticism of Obama policies are rooted in racism, yet liberals claim every word of opposition is based on KKK talking points. Liberals pretend, "It makes me sad our children will be riddled with so much debt," is code for, "I do declare, we've got to get that black man out of the White House. In a civilized nation, it is only proper for people of color to domestically serve those of us blessed with pale skin."

Talentless: Liberal "comedians" such as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart have made millions of dollars saying unfunny things like, "conservatives make Forrest Gump look like Albert Einstein," to thunderous laughter and massive applause. The key to a successful stand-up comedy career is not quality of joke, rather the amount of liberal propaganda you can squeeze into an hour set. Against articulate conservatives, liberals lose every debate. Therefore, instead of being challenged, most leftists would rather watch a comedian stand before them and spew familiar ignorance.

Weak: Wimpy adults such as Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock aren't man enough to live in a world in which they're able to think and make decisions for themselves. Instead of walking by a McDonalds and deciding against entering, they drop to the concrete and weep because "to open the door, or not to open the door," is a dilemma left up to them. "No, it's too hard," they cry. "Removing the Golden Arches forever is the only way my kind can remain physically fit! Don't allow responsible people the choice to enter sporadically, prevent us all from ever stepping foot inside! Better yet, make McDonalds serve only healthy food no one wants to eat so my desire to enter will go away and I can therefore tell myself I am full of willpower."

Submissive: Most liberals aren't happy with President Barack Obama, yet refuse to remove every aspect of their lives from his hands. If Mr. Obama tells his supporters he's transporting them to a secluded compound where they will eventually be castrated, and then forced to drink tainted grape Flavor-Aid until they keel over, these Democrats and moderate Republicans will perhaps complain a smidge, maybe while in line awaiting the order to drop their pants, but would eventually allow their knife-wielding-betters to alter their nether-region. "I don't think drinking this poison will lead to us shedding our vessels before boarding a luxury spaceship headed to a liberal utopia, but it's better than anything the Republicans are proposing. You should hear the GOP criticize Obama's gonad-removing-then-travelling-to-an-all-socialist-planet plan. What a bunch of racists."