As we approach the 2012 Presidential Campaign, I have a strong feeling Mr. Obama and his minions are sitting around a large mahogany table dreaming up lies they'll soon feed American citizens who, "just don't have the time to follow politics."
Because he promised the moon and stars, everyone assumed he was going to do exactly what they wanted him to do: close Gitmo, stop drone attacks, issue an executive order legalizing gay marriage throughout the United States, and get the troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan completely.
Let's say your first priority in 2008 was voting for a man who would close the U.S. military prison in Guantanamo Bay. Candidate Obama said, "I will bring hope and change this country so desperately needs," which made you think an "out of business" sign was on its way to Cuba.
Because Mr. Obama failed so many of you, who somehow believed a political philosophy unbreakably connected you, what can he now say to convince you 2013-2017 will be the four years during which your political dreams finally come true?
The media has been in campaign mode since the 2010 midterm elections. Recently on a supposedly unbiased news website were listed headlines regarding early GOP stumbles, the smoking habit of new Republican Speaker John Boehner, and how a random conservative pseudo-celebrity has publicly deemed Sarah Palin "un-presidential". They also ran headlines about how Barack Obama was focused on economic growth and had taken a page from Bill Clinton by moving to the center. This was only a couple weeks after running nonstop stories regarding Mr. Obama's historically productive lame duck session in which journalists claim he completely redeemed himself after two years of struggles.
More than ever before, the media will enter their offices every morning with a, "what can we do to ensure the reelection of President Barack Obama," attitude.
Will you be convinced by two simple words: "He's Clinton."? Or will they need to expand by claiming that Mr. Obama is Clinton sans marital baggage? "Mr. Obama's presidency has mirrored Mr. Clinton's, but Mr. Obama is actually better because he's a true family man. Mr. Obama would never have any reason to lie to a grand jury. Like Bill Clinton, Mr. Obama has moved to the center. Unlike Bill Clinton, Mr. Obama is nice to Hillary."
He's uber-Clinton.
If the Obama campaign, as well as members of the media, continues asserting that Mr. Clinton and Mr. Obama are basically twins, then no ignorant voter will be required to learn a single piece of information regarding the state of the world. All they'll need to say, if asked why Mr. Obama earned their vote, is that he's uber-Clinton. "Clinton was too liberal at first, and then, after losses by Congressional Democrats, he moderated. The next six years were heaven on earth. Things are shaping up about the same, only this time we won't have to deal with blue dresses, cigars, or voluptuous interns we're too ashamed to tell anyone we find smoking hot."
The uber-Clinton angle makes certain every ignorant voter will have their talking point and therefore come off as enlightened.
Loyal lackeys of Obama are hopeful you're still dumb enough to believe that the vapid rhetoric that will undoubtedly spew from the mouth of a campaigning President Obama translates to, "If you vote for me, I'll do exactly what you want. Seriously, it'll be just like you're in the White House."
Lies About Gitmo
Those on the left adamantly argue that the U.S. military prison in Guantanamo Bay is so deplorable that any caring person would feel an overwhelming desire to comfort Adolf Hitler had the Nazi leader been forced to spend more than fifteen minutes taking abuse within its walls. In reality, Gitmo is a very nice prison in which to reside if you've been apprehended attempting to kill innocent women and children.
But we're supposed to close Gitmo because terrorists are ignorant of the fact that the place would easily receive 5-stars if there were a Zagat guide for prisons? "If you're addicted to prayer, this prison is for you!"
Locked in your bedroom, let's pretend your wife gives you a massage for one hour each night. The neighbors begin to wonder what exactly you're doing in there from 7-8 PM, and, because one busybody swears he or she saw a fishy shadow through the window shade, spread rumors your wife is horrifically abusing you.
You attempt to tell them that the hour is strictly dedicated to massage, but the lies fail to cease.
"Sorry," your wife informs you. "But, based on the fact that others incorrectly believe I'm committing spousal abuse, I must stop treating you much better than you deserve."
America is run by such politically correct pansies that we allow incarcerated terrorists to practice the religion that instructs them to kill us!
We actually further their desire to murder our friends and family! Maybe a couple months sans religious propaganda would make them realize, "You know what, maybe we all should just live and let live."
Why not give wayward teens, jailed for minor offenses, a collection of works by Charles Manson and let them devour his nefarious words while they await release! What harm could come!?
Not only do leftists, as well as opponents of the United States (what's the difference, really?), pretend Gitmo is a location where unimaginable horrors take place; they also pretend it's a huge recruiting tool for Al-Qaeda.
Recent transcripts of conversations between terrorists have proven the existence of Gitmo's military prison is extremely low on the list of things jihadists tell potential Al-Qaeda members for the express purpose of getting them all riled up. (I think it's in between the fact that the straight guy who plays one of the gay guys on Modern Family won the Best Supporting Actor Emmy and a lack of Muslim managers in Major League Baseball.)
Despite proof to the contrary, Mr. Obama still insists Osama Bin Laden is signing up thousands of recruits simply because each and every one is irate over the fact that the glorified pre-school known as Gitmo remains operational!
Many of you expected Mr. Obama to move mountains, but he can't even look you in the eye and tell the truth. It is factually confirmed that Al-Qaeda does not often use Gitmo as a recruiting tool, yet the Commander in Chief is on television moments later insisting the exact opposite is accurate.
Quick: count up the number of overall campaign promises Mr. Obama has kept. Now count up the number of lies he's told... today.
Not even close, is it?
But we're supposed to close Gitmo because terrorists are ignorant of the fact that the place would easily receive 5-stars if there were a Zagat guide for prisons? "If you're addicted to prayer, this prison is for you!"
Locked in your bedroom, let's pretend your wife gives you a massage for one hour each night. The neighbors begin to wonder what exactly you're doing in there from 7-8 PM, and, because one busybody swears he or she saw a fishy shadow through the window shade, spread rumors your wife is horrifically abusing you.
You attempt to tell them that the hour is strictly dedicated to massage, but the lies fail to cease.
"Sorry," your wife informs you. "But, based on the fact that others incorrectly believe I'm committing spousal abuse, I must stop treating you much better than you deserve."
America is run by such politically correct pansies that we allow incarcerated terrorists to practice the religion that instructs them to kill us!
We actually further their desire to murder our friends and family! Maybe a couple months sans religious propaganda would make them realize, "You know what, maybe we all should just live and let live."
Why not give wayward teens, jailed for minor offenses, a collection of works by Charles Manson and let them devour his nefarious words while they await release! What harm could come!?
Not only do leftists, as well as opponents of the United States (what's the difference, really?), pretend Gitmo is a location where unimaginable horrors take place; they also pretend it's a huge recruiting tool for Al-Qaeda.
Recent transcripts of conversations between terrorists have proven the existence of Gitmo's military prison is extremely low on the list of things jihadists tell potential Al-Qaeda members for the express purpose of getting them all riled up. (I think it's in between the fact that the straight guy who plays one of the gay guys on Modern Family won the Best Supporting Actor Emmy and a lack of Muslim managers in Major League Baseball.)
Despite proof to the contrary, Mr. Obama still insists Osama Bin Laden is signing up thousands of recruits simply because each and every one is irate over the fact that the glorified pre-school known as Gitmo remains operational!
Many of you expected Mr. Obama to move mountains, but he can't even look you in the eye and tell the truth. It is factually confirmed that Al-Qaeda does not often use Gitmo as a recruiting tool, yet the Commander in Chief is on television moments later insisting the exact opposite is accurate.
Quick: count up the number of overall campaign promises Mr. Obama has kept. Now count up the number of lies he's told... today.
Not even close, is it?
Siding with Celebrities
What decisions in life would you trust with a celebrity?
Without hesitation, would you allow them to decide the best way to raise your child? Or would you tend to shun their parental advice?
Celebrities enjoy getting drunk. Celebrities enjoy exposing their crotches. Celebrities enjoy letting their nipples slip with the express purpose of increasing ticket sales the night their movie premiers on both coasts.
Because they view him as an artistic genius, most celebrities think it abhorrent that authorities wish to punish Roman Polanski for sexually assaulting a child. It's a good thing for children everywhere that most molesters are jailed for their crimes, regardless of the aptitude they've shown for performing vocational related duties.
I've never seen footage of Martin Scorsese pleading for the release of his world renowned gardener who moonlights as a pedophile. "Had you seen the likeness of me he carved into our shrubs you too would fight for his right to molest anyone that catches his fancy," the acclaimed director has never said while pounding his fist on a podium at the Beverly Hilton.
There are conservatives throughout the country that have as much artistic talent as the hottest liberal star, but instead of dedicating their life to entertaining the masses, they've chosen to produce goods of value. They've chosen to enhance the lives of their fellow citizen, not with two hours of mindless escape, but with products that improve mankind's ability to function.
The invention of the cotton gin was much more beneficial to humanity than was the 2010 release of Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.
But, because those who wear shirts made of cotton don't have a picture of Eli Whitney as their desktop wallpaper; many would rather hear the political ranting of uber-dreamy thespian Shia Labeouf.
Nobody would say, "Unless citizens begin emulating celebrities in their daily lives, America will never again be great."
No parent would say, "Unless my daughter begins behaving more like a pop starlet I will ship her off to boarding school so fast her head will spin. I am sick to death of her failure to smash up a single SUV with an umbrella in between rehab stints!"
Yet, when it comes to politics, it's a badge of honor that liberals share the philosophy of those whose mug shots have made millions of dollars for The Smoking Gun.
Without hesitation, would you allow them to decide the best way to raise your child? Or would you tend to shun their parental advice?
Celebrities enjoy getting drunk. Celebrities enjoy exposing their crotches. Celebrities enjoy letting their nipples slip with the express purpose of increasing ticket sales the night their movie premiers on both coasts.
Because they view him as an artistic genius, most celebrities think it abhorrent that authorities wish to punish Roman Polanski for sexually assaulting a child. It's a good thing for children everywhere that most molesters are jailed for their crimes, regardless of the aptitude they've shown for performing vocational related duties.
I've never seen footage of Martin Scorsese pleading for the release of his world renowned gardener who moonlights as a pedophile. "Had you seen the likeness of me he carved into our shrubs you too would fight for his right to molest anyone that catches his fancy," the acclaimed director has never said while pounding his fist on a podium at the Beverly Hilton.
There are conservatives throughout the country that have as much artistic talent as the hottest liberal star, but instead of dedicating their life to entertaining the masses, they've chosen to produce goods of value. They've chosen to enhance the lives of their fellow citizen, not with two hours of mindless escape, but with products that improve mankind's ability to function.
The invention of the cotton gin was much more beneficial to humanity than was the 2010 release of Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.
But, because those who wear shirts made of cotton don't have a picture of Eli Whitney as their desktop wallpaper; many would rather hear the political ranting of uber-dreamy thespian Shia Labeouf.
Nobody would say, "Unless citizens begin emulating celebrities in their daily lives, America will never again be great."
No parent would say, "Unless my daughter begins behaving more like a pop starlet I will ship her off to boarding school so fast her head will spin. I am sick to death of her failure to smash up a single SUV with an umbrella in between rehab stints!"
Yet, when it comes to politics, it's a badge of honor that liberals share the philosophy of those whose mug shots have made millions of dollars for The Smoking Gun.
From King to Jester in Sixty-Two Million Seconds
Two short years ago a tingle would instantly shoot up the leg of 80% of people fortunate enough to witness Barack Obama enter the room in which they were standing. Even those who didn't vote for the political juggernaut recognized he'd been blessed with an immense gift.
Today the leg of only 20% of folks who come in contact with our esteemed Commander in Chief feel such tingle. 2008 was a huge year for sensations darting up lower appendages. 2010, however, saw the limbs of many suffer massive withdrawal.
An additional Twenty percent of current citizens who encounter Mr. Obama think, "I understand our President has implemented some controversial new laws but I'm sketchy regarding the details. Doesn't the First Lady look radiant!?"
The remaining 60% laugh.
The laugh of some says, "Man did that guy fool me."
The laugh of others says, "I warned as many people as I possibly could."
The laugh of the rest says, "During the final two years of the Bush Presidency, I paid exactly the same number of bills as I did during the first two years of the Obama Presidency. No hope and no change."
Let's dissect the current state of Mr. Obama and his fellow Democrats.
In their attempt to get unemployment benefits extended, liberals claim that paying people not to work actually assists the economy. I'm sure there are thousands of jobless twenty-somethings who've recently informed their parents, "Taking money from you helps your financial situation immensely! Were I to join the workforce, the value of your portfolio would likely plummet! By taking your money, I give and give and give!"
Because everyone believed his lies during the campaign, he assumes everyone will continue nodding along with each word he utters, no matter how asinine.
President Obama is supposedly compromising with Republicans by proposing the Bush tax cuts be extended for every American, including the filthy-rich. "Give him some credit," moderates and liberals in the media beg of conservatives. "He's finally moving to the center as you've been wishing."
You genuinely want us to credit President Obama simply because he took a stand for a policy he does not support due to the fact that otherwise would have secured the demise of his political career!? Please remember we're talking about a man who purposely ran the economy of the United States into the ground for the express purpose of creating what he considers a socially just society!
Had Jeffrey Dahmer given you a hug instead of slicing you up and storing your head in the fridge, would you have declared, "Jeffrey's a new man!" or would you have said, "I wonder if the unusually sweet gesture was an attempt to convince me I needn't be on guard while in his presence?"
I'm not comparing Mr. Obama to a horrific serial killer (at least not until members of his death panels report for duty); I'm simply saying that, after dozens of questionable acts, a single seemingly good deed doesn't mean anyone can confidently declare Mr. Obama is now a rational moderate.
Two years ago Mr. Obama was one of the most successful human beings in the history of our world, now he's the butt of jokes. His name is associated with incompetence and arrogance. He's shown nothing but contempt for the people who faithfully elected him to lead.
From king to jester in a matter of seconds.
Today the leg of only 20% of folks who come in contact with our esteemed Commander in Chief feel such tingle. 2008 was a huge year for sensations darting up lower appendages. 2010, however, saw the limbs of many suffer massive withdrawal.
An additional Twenty percent of current citizens who encounter Mr. Obama think, "I understand our President has implemented some controversial new laws but I'm sketchy regarding the details. Doesn't the First Lady look radiant!?"
The remaining 60% laugh.
The laugh of some says, "Man did that guy fool me."
The laugh of others says, "I warned as many people as I possibly could."
The laugh of the rest says, "During the final two years of the Bush Presidency, I paid exactly the same number of bills as I did during the first two years of the Obama Presidency. No hope and no change."
Let's dissect the current state of Mr. Obama and his fellow Democrats.
In their attempt to get unemployment benefits extended, liberals claim that paying people not to work actually assists the economy. I'm sure there are thousands of jobless twenty-somethings who've recently informed their parents, "Taking money from you helps your financial situation immensely! Were I to join the workforce, the value of your portfolio would likely plummet! By taking your money, I give and give and give!"
Because everyone believed his lies during the campaign, he assumes everyone will continue nodding along with each word he utters, no matter how asinine.
President Obama is supposedly compromising with Republicans by proposing the Bush tax cuts be extended for every American, including the filthy-rich. "Give him some credit," moderates and liberals in the media beg of conservatives. "He's finally moving to the center as you've been wishing."
You genuinely want us to credit President Obama simply because he took a stand for a policy he does not support due to the fact that otherwise would have secured the demise of his political career!? Please remember we're talking about a man who purposely ran the economy of the United States into the ground for the express purpose of creating what he considers a socially just society!
Had Jeffrey Dahmer given you a hug instead of slicing you up and storing your head in the fridge, would you have declared, "Jeffrey's a new man!" or would you have said, "I wonder if the unusually sweet gesture was an attempt to convince me I needn't be on guard while in his presence?"
I'm not comparing Mr. Obama to a horrific serial killer (at least not until members of his death panels report for duty); I'm simply saying that, after dozens of questionable acts, a single seemingly good deed doesn't mean anyone can confidently declare Mr. Obama is now a rational moderate.
Two years ago Mr. Obama was one of the most successful human beings in the history of our world, now he's the butt of jokes. His name is associated with incompetence and arrogance. He's shown nothing but contempt for the people who faithfully elected him to lead.
From king to jester in a matter of seconds.
You Call That a Tease!?
While searching for a laugh, I recently perused the onscreen guide displaying information about television programs airing now and in the future on my cable system. Because there is currently only one situation comedy worthy of my eyes, I was forced to look elsewhere. Of course I immediately turned to America's number one cable news network: MSNBC.
"Only a handful of people watch MSNBC, how could they be number one?" you ask.
They are at the top of their game at creating unintentional comedy. Though it's not their goal; every host, contributor and guest is laugh out loud funny.
According to my onscreen guide, MSNBC personality Chris Matthews "moderates hard-hitting debates on key political issues." That same onscreen guide informed me that Fox News host Glenn Beck "provides an unconventional look at the news."
I suppose my onscreen guide defines "debate" as, "with a beet red face and thinning hair askew, shouting down anyone with whom you disagree." And it appears as if that same guide defines an "unconventional" person as someone who, "Believes America is on the decline because its people are straying from God and the Constitution."
Like liberals wish to do with "marriage", it looks like my onscreen guide is changing definitions based on its own political philosophy.
It's amusing how radical leftists are viewed as mainstream, while typical conservatives are considered far-right kooks.
Yahoo! News routinely insinuates stories, written and distributed by the uber-left Huffington Post website, are regular ole news stories. Funny how Yahoo! doesn't trick everyone into reading radio rants of Rush Limbaugh by transcribing his words and pretending they were formulated by unbiased reporters.
I no longer get angry at discovering extreme left-wingers are attempting to manipulate the general public, but do find it hysterical that even my onscreen cable guide tries to persuade everyone into believing that radical Democrats, who throw-up in their mouths a little bit whenever a right-winger speaks, enjoy robust debate, while conservatives calling for lower taxes and expanded freedom are "unconventional."
"Only a handful of people watch MSNBC, how could they be number one?" you ask.
They are at the top of their game at creating unintentional comedy. Though it's not their goal; every host, contributor and guest is laugh out loud funny.
According to my onscreen guide, MSNBC personality Chris Matthews "moderates hard-hitting debates on key political issues." That same onscreen guide informed me that Fox News host Glenn Beck "provides an unconventional look at the news."
I suppose my onscreen guide defines "debate" as, "with a beet red face and thinning hair askew, shouting down anyone with whom you disagree." And it appears as if that same guide defines an "unconventional" person as someone who, "Believes America is on the decline because its people are straying from God and the Constitution."
Like liberals wish to do with "marriage", it looks like my onscreen guide is changing definitions based on its own political philosophy.
It's amusing how radical leftists are viewed as mainstream, while typical conservatives are considered far-right kooks.
Yahoo! News routinely insinuates stories, written and distributed by the uber-left Huffington Post website, are regular ole news stories. Funny how Yahoo! doesn't trick everyone into reading radio rants of Rush Limbaugh by transcribing his words and pretending they were formulated by unbiased reporters.
I no longer get angry at discovering extreme left-wingers are attempting to manipulate the general public, but do find it hysterical that even my onscreen cable guide tries to persuade everyone into believing that radical Democrats, who throw-up in their mouths a little bit whenever a right-winger speaks, enjoy robust debate, while conservatives calling for lower taxes and expanded freedom are "unconventional."
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