If Steve Nash of the Phoenix Suns drafted a letter to Arizona Governor Jan Brewer in protest of Arizona's new immigration law, it would probably go a little something like this...
Dear Governor Brewer,
My name is Steve Nash and I am a professional sports hero here in Phoenix. I know my opinion is valued over ordinary Arizonans because I dribble well. I dribble very well. I'm probably the most adroit dribbler Canada has ever produced.
I, with the backing of the entire Phoenix Suns organization, demand you not enact the controversial new Arizona law which specifically calls for the profiling of all Hispanic looking people simply because they are different.
Though I have not read a word of the bill, the media and internet have used scary words in describing hypothetical situations where people with dark skin are hunted down in the streets of Arizona.
If my sincere appeal, which I have thoughtfully based on vague information learned from watching MSNBC, surfing the Huffington Post, and speaking with our Stanford educated backup center Jarron Collins while playing Wii, is not enough to stop you from doing the right thing, Arizona is in deep peril.
I understand that a majority of Arizonans support this deranged new law, and that fact deeply saddens me. However, a majority of southerners once claimed slavery was morally just. In passing this law, you make the pro-slavery crowd resemble ardent supporters of the ACLU.
Only a little bit, does wearing a "Los Suns" jersey ease the discomfort I feel in playing in front of mostly bigoted fans. I am beginning to confuse Arizona with 1940's Germany. Sometimes, when I look to the upper deck, I expect to see Nazi clad spectators staring back at me. I have an inherent desire to advise all Jewish fans in the front row to flee the arena. After I swish a free throw, instead of cheering, I half-expect to hear 18,000 people shout in unison, "Heil Hitler!" On the way home, I expect to see a sign indicating Scottsdale is 20 miles ahead and the Arizona branch of Auschwitz is only another 10 down the road.
So please listen to someone who has not actively sought out any specific details contained in the bill and disregard the will of the Arizona people. I know they get upset at hearing that fellow Arizonans have been gunned down by Mexican drug dealers on their own property, but those incidents usually happen a couple hundred miles away from the condo in which I reside during the season. Besides, you don't think my eyes swell with tears after hearing fabricated tales about Hispanic fathers and sons terrorized by police while enjoying a couple scoops at their local ice cream parlor? So, Governor Brewer, please allow the horrific illegal immigration problem that's bankrupting Arizona to persist by preventing the implementation of this bigoted law.
I know it may seem strange to run a state based on the advice of someone who possesses only a modicum of knowledge regarding the thing on which he is advising, but how can a land run on advice from the compassionate be filled with anything other than peace and harmony?
With More Tolerance in My Pinky Finger than You Have in Your Entire Pasty Body,
Steve Nash
Point Guard - Los Suns
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